As I sit in stillness and connect with myself, I’m reminded of the complexities of life. I’ve been meditating daily for the past 30 days and what a difference it has made. For the first time in years I feel connected to my true self again and there is an inner knowing that I am on the right path.
It wasn’t always this way.
Last year I experienced the most difficult chapter in my life so far, triggered by the loss of my Mum and the subsequent loss of myself.
I reached my rock bottom and only at this point, was I able to see that I was the only one that could be responsible for pulling myself out of it. I was stripping myself back to nothing, in whatever form that took and it left me wondering where to go next.
I have found a stillness in my heart and an openness in my soul and I am reaching out towards my full potential like never before. I’m no longer afraid of what that may look like and I’m no longer afraid of myself.
It wasn’t easy to get to this point.
Celebrating the Uncertainty
At my lowest, the future wasn’t a place I could envisage. It was a place out of reach and unimaginable. But I knew tranquillity existed, if I could just create enough stillness to connect with it again.
Reaching rock bottom strips you to your core. Removes the baggage and allows you to start again. We often see low points as negative, yet with hindsight I see that it is something to celebrate. The gratitude I now feel for reaching a higher vibration is so powerful, that I often can’t put it into words, as words wouldn’t do it justice. Yet I remember so clearly the low points that I’m able to reach towards the gratitude I feel and cling to it, because I know I’ve made it through to the other side.
I turned the corner that I never thought I’d turn and I did it myself.
Depression. Resistance. Low mood. Whatever human term we may give it – it all represents the same thing to me. A great big opportunity to clear the rubbish, to let go of the past, to feel emotions deeply, to get back to basics and to live in a more simplistic way.
After all, rock bottom doesn’t allow us to continue to pretend we’re super human or invincible, it forces us to stop, to get out of our own way, to give our power to something greater than ourselves and to trust that in time, things will get better.
What else can we do?
We are forced to rest, to go with the flow, to preserve our energy and to move at a slower pace. Slowing right down creates space and ensures that we start to notice the small but significant changes; the improvements, as they start to appear. Once we start to see these, we realise we’re coming back to ourselves.
In the process of reaching the bottom, the only way to rise to the surface is to release the weight of whatever we’re carrying, so that we can float again.
I used to have a vision of being held down in water by weights and struggling to stay afloat. That’s how I felt for much of last year.
Cut the cords that tie us to our ‘stuff’ and let go of the weight that we carry and sure enough, our bodies and our minds can rise and we can start to breathe again.
At the surface, we can start to move with the ebb and flow of the ocean of life, that carries us to wherever we are meant to be.
If you’re at a low point and you feel as if there may be no way of pulling yourself out of it, imagine cutting those cords that tie you to the negative and slowly; maybe not immediately, but eventually, the only way is up.
Never give up hope.