As people pleasers, we’re creatures of habit. The habit of pleasing others.
We put our own needs last and often over-commit ourselves because we want to help everyone.
This was the case for Rosie.
She was holding everything together at work, but life around her was falling apart.
She felt like she couldn’t breathe.
Her relationships were deteriorating because of the pressure she was under. She was snappy, grumpy and exhausted.
As a high-achiever, she was terrified of failure and found it impossible to say ‘no’ or admit defeat.
After yet another 14-hour day, something snapped. A little voice in her head started to wonder what the point was. Of any of it.
She started to see how unhappy she was and her life cracked right open.
So what does this have to do with Lobsters…?
When a lobster grows, it must periodically shed its old shell so it can grow a new one. It appears uncomfortable as its shell cracks open, but the lobster doesn’t resist.
It’s an essential part of it's continued growth.
And people pleasers are the same.
As masters of resilience we only ever give up when we’re out of room or out of options.
When we start to see the truth of how uncomfortable life is, gradual change isn’t going to cut it.
That tough exterior that carries the weight of the world is also the breaking point for change.
The shedding of the old to make way for the new.
A version of you that offers freedom and happiness.
When Rosie came to see me she needed help to rebuild herself in a way that would allow her to breathe again.
Using my unique process, she was able to see what needed to change to create the freedom she desired and although this work required commitment, consistency and courage, the rewards were invaluable:
She left her job to go work for a company whose values aligned with hers. Shortly after this she received a promotion.
She had more space in her mind and was more efficient. This meant more hours in the day to spend enjoying her life.
She now knows how to say no to unreasonable requests – without feeling like a terrible human afterwards.
She has time to take care of herself instead of running around like a headless chicken all day, putting out fires for everyone else.
She even found herself able to relax fully over the weekends!
Once Rosie could feel the benefits of the changes she was making, she didn’t worry about the shell she was leaving behind.
She just wished she’d left it sooner.
