You’re a nice person. Always ready to do anything for anyone.
You've always felt so proud of being so reliable and capable, even if it often feels like you put in double the effort that others do.
You worry about how much longer you can hold it all together, but if someone asks you to do something you’re there. Ready to rise to the rescue.
You often find yourself saying yes to things that you don’t want to do, because you don't like letting people down.
When you get into bed at night, it’s impossible to switch off as you run the list of things you need to do through your mind.
You rarely feel rested. In fact, most days you wake up feeling exhausted. Thank the lord for coffee!
Does this sound familiar?
If so, chances are you're a people pleaser.
How do I know?
Because I used to be one too.
In my last corporate job I had a great salary and position in the company I worked, but I often felt like the 'put upon person'.
I was the one that said yes, always helping out when it mattered. But I also made great personal sacrifices to do this and most people had no idea.
The sudden death of my Dad was a huge wake up call for me.
I realised I'd spent so long trying to keep others happy that I'd missed out on some really important moments.
Moments I couldn't get back.
As I grieved, I found myself unable to continue saying yes for the first time in my life. My tank was empty.
Very quickly, my colleagues began to complain to my boss that I wasn't 'pulling my weight' and asking 'when I'd get over it'.
This was a huge slap in the face for me.
After years of being the 'yes' person, I realised no one appreciated it and no one appreciated me. I was only ever as good as my last yes.
No matter how much I did, there would always be someone wanting more.
For me, this realisation was so huge that I made the decision to start putting my needs first.
Soon after I left that job (that I didn't enjoy anyway) and started living my life in a very different way.
It led me to travel for 10 months before retraining as a coach, helping people let go of the habit of putting themselves last.
By letting go of the need to constantly seek approval from others and liberating myself:
I now know what’s important to me and I make that my priority.
I learned how to lovingly saying no to things that I didn't want to do, which gave me a deep feeling of freedom.
For the first time in years I was able to sleep and I woke up feeling rested.
My IBS that had been ongoing for years has completely gone and the constant nerves and worry are a thing of the past.
If you resonate with this, perhaps now is the time to start changing the story?